Every parent or educator has seen it: a child bursting into tears over a minor disappointment or becoming frustrated when sharing toys doesn’t go to plan.
These moments might be overwhelming, but they’re also an important part of learning emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, isn’t something we’re born with. It’s a skill that develops over time through relationships and everyday experiences. Learning how to recognise emotions, manage big feelings, and connect with others helps children build resilience, confidence, and healthy relationships for life. Understanding the importance of emotional intelligence in early childhood through childcare and kindergarten can help parents and educators support children through every stage of development.
What is emotional intelligence in early childhood?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, express, and manage emotions while also responding appropriately to the feelings of others.
Social and emotional development in early childhood may look like naming simple emotions. In older children, it becomes more sophisticated, including self-regulation, empathy, and problem-solving during social situations.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman describes emotional intelligence through five key components:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
The elements of emotional intelligence in early childhood
Emotional intelligence is made up of several interconnected skills, all of which can be nurtured from a young age.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and name emotions. A child saying, “I feel frustrated because my block tower fell down,” is beginning to connect feelings with experiences.
Self-regulation
Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotional responses in healthy ways. For example, a child might use deep breathing or ask for help instead of having a meltdown when something feels difficult.
Motivation
Motivation is the internal drive to keep trying through challenges. Parents and educators can encourage this by praising effort, persistence, and problem-solving rather than focusing only on results.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In preschool-aged children, this may look like comforting a friend who’s upset or noticing when someone feels left out.
Social skills
Social skills are how children apply emotional intelligence in relationships. Communication, cooperation, turn-taking, and conflict resolution all develop through play and group activities.
What does emotional intelligence look like at different ages?
Ages 2–4
- Names basic emotions
- Needs adult support to calm down
- Begins showing empathy
Ages 5–7
- Understands more complex feelings
- Starts managing frustration independently
- Builds stronger friendships
Ages 8–10
- Reflects on emotions and behaviour
- Solves social conflicts more independently
- Shows stronger empathy and perspective-taking
The importance of emotional intelligence in early childhood
Emotional intelligence plays a big role in school readiness as well as mental health. Research shows that children with stronger emotional skills are often better equipped to manage stress, build positive relationships, and engage in learning environments.
Children who can communicate their feelings and regulate emotions tend to adapt more easily to classroom routines and social situations.
Emotional intelligence and academic outcomes
Children with strong EQ skills often engage more positively in learning. That’s because emotional regulation helps them focus attention, cope with challenges, and communicate their needs in the classroom. They’re also less likely to experience behavioural disruptions that interfere with learning.
Social skills and emotional intelligence: a symbiotic relationship
Social skills and emotional intelligence support one another. Children use emotional awareness to form friendships, cooperate with peers, and resolve disagreements. At the same time, social interactions help strengthen empathy and communication skills.
How to support the development of emotional intelligence in children: practical strategies for home and early learning
Emotion coaching: name it to tame it
Emotion coaching is all about acknowledging feelings, labelling them, and helping children problem-solve.
For example:
“I can see you’re feeling upset because playtime ended. It’s okay to feel disappointed. Let’s take a deep breath together and think about what comes next.”
Building an emotionally rich vocabulary
Going beyond “happy” and “sad” helps children better understand their feelings. Activities such as feelings charts, storytelling, and emotion-based games can introduce words like “nervous”, “proud”, or “frustrated”.
Modelling emotional regulation as an adult
Children learn by watching the adults around them. When parents and educators respond calmly to stress, children see healthy emotional regulation in action.
Using storytelling and roleplay to build empathy
Stories and imaginative play give children safe opportunities to explore emotions and perspectives. Discussing how characters feel or acting out social situations helps children practise empathy and problem-solving.
The role of early childhood educators in emotional intelligence development
Early learning environments play an important role in emotional development. Children learn social and emotional skills through interactions with educators and peers every day.
At Uniting EL, we intentionally support emotional intelligence across our childcare and kindergarten programs by creating nurturing environments where children feel safe, supported, and connected.
Classroom strategies that support emotional intelligence in early childhood
Educators may support emotional intelligence through:
- Morning circle check-ins
- Social stories
- Conflict resolution scripts
- Cooperative play
- Calm-down corners
These strategies help children identify emotions, communicate effectively, and develop self-regulation skills.
Creating a safe emotional environment
Children are more likely to express emotions openly when they feel emotionally safe. Supportive classrooms encourage children to talk about feelings without shame while guiding appropriate behaviour with care and consistency.
FAQs
What is emotional intelligence in early childhood?
Emotional intelligence in early childhood is a child’s ability to recognise, understand, and manage emotions while responding empathetically to others.
What is the importance of emotional intelligence in early childhood?
Strong emotional intelligence supports resilience, school readiness, positive relationships, and mental wellbeing. It also helps children navigate challenges and social situations more confidently.
At what age does emotional intelligence begin to develop in children?
EQ development begins from infancy through responsive relationships and continues developing throughout the preschool and primary years.
How can parents build emotional intelligence in toddlers?
Parents can support EQ by naming emotions, modelling calm behaviour, reading books about feelings, and helping children work through emotional moments instead of dismissing them.
What are the signs of high emotional intelligence in a child?
Common signs include:
- Naming emotions clearly
- Showing empathy
- Managing frustration calmly
- Cooperating during play
- Resolving conflicts with words
Grow your child’s emotional intelligence at one of our Early Learning centres
Emotional intelligence is a lifelong skill, and the foundations begin in early childhood. With the right support, children can learn to manage emotions, build meaningful relationships, and approach challenges with confidence.
Explore our childcare and kindergarten programs to learn how Uniting Early Learning supports children’s emotional growth through nurturing relationships and play-based learning.
